I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
