My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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