considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
