And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
