Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
