RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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