i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
ok first of all what the fuck
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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