Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
