omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
