My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
