butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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