Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
