She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just cropdusted the office
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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