Dual....:-)
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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