my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
