Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
