i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
