Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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