Need sex. Gaining weight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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