How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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