So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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