You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
