im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
