You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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