let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
