32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
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