Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
