You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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