he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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