Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
