My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
