I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
