no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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