R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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