It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
