Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
