the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
