kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
