Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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