do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
