Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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