He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
