Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
