Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
