Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
