why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
