Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
