And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His nipple licking is glorious
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