Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
