If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
